It is always daunting walking into something new, achieving something great.
Imposter Syndrome you say, had it for years and one day said no more.
“Imposter syndrome doubting your worth and feeling as though you are a fraud, no matter what you have achieved you will find it difficult to accept praise or accept your accomplishments as deserving ".
Imagine being a creative soul as I am and have been most of my life, and then every-time you create something worthy of praise, you yourself feel like an imposter a fraud. "Oh it's ok" or "hmmm could have done better", "stop clapping it's not relevant".
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
I actually had no idea what imposter syndrome was, until one day a few years ago someone was looking at some of my images and she looked me straight in the eye and said the words like an arrow targeted at my soul.
"You have imposter syndrome". I do - "yes you do".
WHEN DID I REALISE IT WAS TRUE?
Each time I write a book, every time I face that yellow pad, the challenge is so great. I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out. Maya Angelo
AND THEN YOU RELISE THAT YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER.
In 2017 I was to enter my first Aipp award, Australian Photography awards, not feeling positive about it and fear had set in, as you see I was a creative soul and had attached my idea perfectionism to my work my images. How crippling is perfectionism one of the heaviest coats of amor we ever have to wear. But we will talk about that another time.
Before the awards the entrants such as myself were given the opportunity to attend a pre judging event where some of the previous winners and judges would critique the image and let you know if it needed more light, cropping, shadow adjustment or in some cases they would say just shoot it again before you enter. On this night one of the women there was photographer of the year, and she was to say to a room full of us that it took her some 12 times entering before she was to win Gold. Driving home I thought no way why would you bother going through it so many times. I told my husband never again this is really daunting. I did enter my 3 images that year, my first year and I stayed away from the event the judging the whole thing. Imposter Syndrome was to hold me back from even seeing my work hung up during the duration of the event. I did however have a friend that was involved in volunteering for the week of the awards. She was to call me on the day of the portraiture judging and asked if I was going to come. No, I had floors to wash and any excuse I could find not to see my work being judged. The next call I was to get was again from my friend was to let me know that I had won a Gold and two Silver.
Yes, you see it is us that doubts our own ability of achieving great things, comparing our self to others and not thinking that we are worthy of something great.
When in fact, we are so much more.
STOP THE CYCLE
1. Recognise that you do not need to be perfect and what is perfect anyway.
2. Understand that you have given your all and worked hard toward what it is that you have achieved.
3. Acknowledge the thoughts that come into your mind and sort through them starting with - why not me.
4. Be kind to yourself, reframe the thoughts in your mind, each time you create or do something that you like or are proud of say to yourself "you did well" "you gave it your best".
5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Many famous people have gone through Imposter syndrome at some point of their life,
You will soon learn that you are worthy and never stop producing your best work and being the best version of yourself.